Wrapping Up

What do you like most about December? One of my favorite parts is wrapping up presents and wrapping up the year. This year, that means wrapping up this blog that I started in January 2024. As they say, a picture is worth 1000 words. What do you see in the picture above? For me, it touches on everything that I chose to write about this year: Wrapping Up, Tradition and Luck, Learning, Being Present, Winning, Coaching, Revitalizing, Laughing, Profit and Purpose, Gratitude, Hello World! and Fear.

In November, I wrote about tradition and luck and December provided many examples. In this picture from December 15, I’m thrilled about my luck in getting the best hand I’ve ever had playing 42, a dominoes game that I watched for many years at family gatherings and later even got to play with my great grandparents. As luck would have it, 42 was very popular where I went to college at Texas A&M, so this tradition of playing is extra special for me as it connects me back to family and being an Aggie (note my Aggie maroon dominoes in the picture). In case you don’t know, the hand that I got and begged my daughter to capture in this photo is what I call a “lay-down hand”, and it is a great example of winning, revitalizing, and laughing – all themes that I like to think about often.

Full circle, I’m playing 42 in the photo with my husband and two young adult children who I taught to play so it is a great reminder of learning, coaching, and being present. When we get to play 42 with our kids now, I enjoy reflecting on how much we all have learned together not just in 42 but in life, and it is remarkable. Certainly, I have immense gratitude for the happy moment with family that this picture captures and yet, it takes some effort to quiet my fear for how fleeting these moments are and also the fear of sharing all these thoughts with the world. Wrapping up is shown in the picture with my favorite Christmas tablecloth. I love decorating for Christmas. For me, it’s a great time to reflect on the past and look to the future. In short, the picture captures me doing my life’s work at the intersection of profit and purpose and staying curious about what’s to come next. Wishing all of that and more for you! What picture is worth 1000 words for you? I’d love to hear about it. Bring on 2025!

Tradition and Luck

I can’t pick one, so I thought I’d write about two topics on my mind this month – tradition and luck:

  1. Tradition – One of my favorite traditions is back after a hiatus when my Texas Aggies play the Longhorns in college football this Saturday. I like traditions when they connect us to the wisdom and people of the past but not when they hold us back from what might be better. For example, I make my Aunt Lynnette’s sweet potato casserole for Thanksgiving every year now. She originally used canned sweet potatoes and, one year when she was still with us, I decided to try her recipe with fresh ones. Of course, I took the original and new versions to our Thanksgiving lunch so I would not get kicked out of the family. However, to my delight and surprise, everyone including Aunt Lynnette liked my new one! Even better, my new version also uses one less stick of butter. Sometimes, we can carry traditions forward and still improve upon them. Do you have examples like this? I’d love to hear! Need the recipe? Let me know.
  2. Luck – This month has been a whirlwind with some bad news and tough surprises along with some really good news for family and friends. It got me thinking about luck. “Luck is when preparation meets opportunity” is my favorite definition. I first heard this from Oprah but it looks like it is most attributed to the Roman philosopher Seneca. One way that luck has shown up for me is that I almost always have a plan, and it hardly ever works out. Mostly, life has worked out better than I imagined and moving towards my plan has put me in a place to get lucky even though it was hard to see at first. In my best example, in 1997, my original plan was to move to London to work for a software company. The day before my flight was scheduled to take me across the ocean to live in another country on my own, I received a call that the company no longer had a job for me. That threw me for a loop, and I thought hard about whether I was meant to go to London or do something totally different. I pursued several options, and, luckily, I secured another role and headed to London just a couple of months later than planned. It turned into a great professional experience that later took me to live in Miami Beach and travel to Mexico and all over South America. Even better, through a friend at the new company in London, I met my husband of now over 25 years. I was very lucky that time! What is your definition of luck and what role has it played in your life? Share with me!

What are your thoughts on tradition and luck? Here’s hoping we all have more good luck in 2024!

Learning

It’s college application time for our high school senior son and thousands of students. I’m so glad I don’t have to write those essays. This got me thinking about lifelong learning. I decided it might be fun and interesting to share five things I learned this month, in no particular order.

1. Innovation – This year, I’ve been gathering monthly with like-minded leaders for a conversation about an aspect of Conscious Leadership with the Houston Chapter of Conscious Capitalism. Join us if you can! In October, we focused on innovation. From other leaders, I learned about a welding company who has had huge success with self-managed teams and a family-owned retailer that regularly convenes cross-functional teams to spark and collect innovative ideas. This all reminded me about some of my favorite work by Harvard Professor Linda Hill on Collective Genius. I have used this 3-minute video in all-hands meetings to start conversations on innovation. I also recommend her TED talk.

2. Board Governance – Are you serving on a board? At a Private Directors Association event, I heard that many boards do not conduct an annual self-assessment. I was surprised because much of my experience is with fund boards where the SEC requires an annual self-assessment, and the NYSE requires it for boards of listed public companies. Have you seen board self-assessment be beneficial? I have. Try it. Let me know how it goes.

3. Computer Science – At the Texas A&M Department of Computer Science and Engineering Advisory Council meeting, I learned that some students are applying for ~100 jobs and hearing back from only ~10 companies. What a tough environment! I wish I could have asked more questions. If you can hire new college grads, it sounds like a great time to get some top talent. This also got me curious about how we are doing with women studying computer science nationally. Although women earn more bachelor’s degrees overall, we are only at ~20% women in Computer Science. Does this surprise you? As someone who studied Computer Science, I think it’s a great field for men and women and a springboard into many different careers. Are you doing work in this area? Love to hear about it! Tell all the girls you know.

    4. K-12 Education – I learned about some new aspects of K-12 education through a volunteer project with ProUnitas. In 700+ schools and growing, ProUnitas is striving to reduce absenteeism by helping digitize information and connect student support personnel (nurses, counselors, etc.) and service providers in K-12. This helps more students get the support they need to be in school and learn. Do you know about efforts like this in K-12 education? I’d love to hear.

    5. Bipartisan work on US Immigration – Do you love bipartisan work? I do! I learned about bipartisan work on immigration from these videos by Rational Middle. As the wife of one of America’s best immigrants, I’ve seen our legal immigration process firsthand, and it’s not pretty. I also learned that immigration is one of the top strategic initiatives of the Center for Houston’s Future, a nonprofit that works to understand future global trends and their impact on Houston, my hometown. Their 2021 research found, “Immigrants already make up nearly one-third of the region’s workforce. With employment growth among native citizens below 2 percent, Houston will need foreign immigration to continue expanding economically.”

    Albert Einstein said, “The more I learn, the more I realize how much I don’t know.” That’s definitely my experience! I hope sharing just a few things that I learned this month sparks new ideas for you. Join me on the lifelong learning journey? Let’s learn more in 2024!

    Being Present

    How often do we give colleagues or family the gift of being present? How often do we receive the gift of presence back? The idea of being fully present came up in my monthly Vistage leadership group. I keep thinking about it, so I thought I’d write about it and connect a few dots that I’m seeing. Being fully present sounds simple – why do I find it difficult?

    One successful attempt I had at being fully present this month was in a discussion over dinner about what we wanted the shared purpose of our family of four to be going forward. These family dinners are rare now with our oldest only home for short college breaks. With our second hopefully heading off to college next Fall, it is definitely a time of transition. While I have applied the idea of developing shared purpose in work settings for decades, I never thought to be intentional about a conversation on shared purpose with our family until now. It was a fun first conversation and particularly special to have our young adults contributing ideas for our family’s purpose and what they want to give and receive (and yes, “send money!” was the first answer). Now, I just have to remember to follow up. Thanks Todd Musselman for the encouragement to develop shared purpose in work and family relationships!

    Another place that being fully present came up related to the workplace this month was in a seminar I attended with Culture +. Big thanks to the authors of Love As a Business Strategy for all the inspiration. I took away several ideas and reminders on how to show up at my best in work and life. They mentioned Peter Drucker’s idea that I’ve been quoting for decades that “Culture eats strategy for breakfast,” and now I’m adding and amplifying their idea that “Behavior eats culture for lunch.” I’ve definitely got plenty of examples on both sides of that. The most success I have is when I remember that I have two ears and one mouth for a reason, and I focus on listening, repeating back, and checking my understanding of what colleagues are communicating. Being fully present (or not) reinforces or undermines our best efforts at creating positive work and family cultures.

    In the monthly Conscious Conversations series that I am facilitating for the Houston Chapter of Conscious Capitalism, we discussed this quote from Mackey and his co-authors in Conscious Leadership about being fully present:

    “When we are fully present in each moment, we begin to notice the fear, sadness, anger, illness, low self-esteem, and depression in other people. Compassion is the normal human response to pain and suffering, but we must be present in the moment to notice it. It isn’t easy to be present.”

    At least I don’t feel alone in the difficulties of being fully present! I’ve got lots of work to do on noticing positive and negative emotions in my interactions. On a more successful note, last Friday, I spent a day in prison with the Prison Entrepreneurship Program (PEP) as a volunteer at the Business Plan Competition and Graduation. I’ve been volunteering off and on with PEP since 2008, and I highly recommend getting involved if you want a powerful experience of how being present can be life-changing for you and the participants. What keeps me coming back as a volunteer with PEP is the multitude of vibrant, real-life examples that we all have the ability to change and grow.

    I’m a little hesitant to throw too many ideas out there at once, but I can’t resist mentioning that I read the book Likeable Badass by Alison Fragale this month. Alison’s top tip is to be Assertive and Warm, a likeable badass. Being fully present is a norm for the likeable badass leaders that I know. I hope to write more about this another time, and, for now, I will encourage you to buy and read Likeable Badass for all the insights.

    What are your best tips for being fully present? I’d love to learn from you. Let’s be more present in 2024!

    Winning

    When was the last time you won? Watching the 2024 Paris Olympics really got me thinking about winning. The thrill of victory and agony of defeat in sports is irresistible to me, even when I am just an observer. What about you? While watching the 2024 men’s high jump final, I first heard about the 2020 Tokyo Olympics men’s high jump final where the winners decided to share gold medals. What an incredible story and example of a win-win-win! Did you see it? I must confess that one aspect that I really like about sports is that there is usually a clear winner, so it took me a minute to be excited about the idea of two winners. However, after watching the 2020 gold medalist athletes tell their story, I see the place for sharing a win, even in sports. Certainly, the current controversy about the 2024 bronze medal in floor exercise reminds us that winners are not always clear, even in sports.

    In business and life outside of sports, I have seen that there are almost always more benefits and opportunities for a win-win-win. What is a win-win-win? In one of my favorite books, Conscious Leadership, Mackey and his co-authors say, “The key ethical idea in win-win-win thinking is that we are seeking to find strategies and solutions that benefit us, the parties we are directly interacting with, and the larger communities that we exist within….But to truly appreciate this philosophy and its power, we have to evolve past our conditioned win-lose, either-or mindset. That can be quite difficult, given how pervasive it is in our society.”

    I got some great new insights on this idea of win-win-win from peers this past Tuesday during our Conscious Conversations series for the Houston Chapter of Conscious Capitalism. One idea that stood out is that a key to creating a win-win-win is overcoming fear in ourselves and others. That reminded me of my favorite FDR quote on fear that I mentioned in my January 2024 blog. Intentional and thoughtful communication was also shared as a key to success in creating a win-win-win. A third insight that will stick with me is the question, “Does someone need to lose for it to feel like a win?” Not in my experience, but I do catch myself falling into this trap sometimes.

    Thinking about winning also made me listen to one of my favorite songs about winning. Yep, that’s right. “All I Do is Win” by DJ Khaled featuring T-Pain, Ludacris, Snoop Dogg, and Rick Ross. I don’t like every line, but I love the chorus: “All I do is win, win, win, no matter what.”

    Even these artists focused on win-win-win! What if we all did that? How do you win and create win-win-wins? Love to hear your thoughts and tips. Let’s win more in 2024!

    Coaching

    Have you ever had a great coach? Or been one? The topic of coaching is on my mind often because it is vital in two of my favorite things – business and sports. As a player, fan, and an executive, I’ve had and seen some great coaching. I am always striving to improve my skills and be a great coach. But what does it take?

    Do coaches get too much credit or not enough? I spent several days this summer watching our son compete at the top boy’s club volleyball tournaments in the US. The winning coach of the national championship team in the 17-year-old division posted a video of herself pacing before the quarterfinals against my son’s team and saying that coaching is harder than playing. Is it? Or is that just how she felt in the pressure of the moment? She’s worth a follow for interesting and fun takes on coaching and life. One reason that this national champion coach cited that makes coaching harder than playing is that a coach can definitely make her team lose but only players can make their team win. I have similar thoughts about parenting. I wonder how many coaches, many of whom are former players, would say coaching is harder than playing. What do you think?

    I have played but never coached sports, so I don’t really know which is harder. What I do know is that when done at their best, coaching and playing demand a tremendous amount of work and dedication and can be extremely rewarding. I am a big fan of it all in sports and business.

    How much difference can a great coach really make? If we look at how much coaches are paid on top sports teams, it implies that people paying the bills think that coaches make a dramatic difference. I’m definitely a believer that coaching matters; however, I also think the “market” often overpays for supposedly superior coaches in sports and business only to be disappointed.

    On another note, there was a high profile exit of a coach from one of my favorite sports teams last month. It was so bad that I won’t even write about specifics because I don’t want to give that coach more attention. One aspect that struck me the most about that situation is how much negative information about his coaching and character came to light AFTER his departure. Why is that?

    We focused on coaching in July for the Conscious Conversations monthly series that I’m leading for the Houston Chapter of Conscious Capitalism. One idea from business leaders is that excellent coaches remove roadblocks. A practical tip that leaders recommend is to ask regularly, “What roadblocks can I remove for you?” In Conscious Leadership, John Mackey and his co-authors say, “…conscious leaders recognize that it is part of their own role to be a coach, and they work to encourage that recognition in every leader and team member within the organization.” I’m working on that. Are you?

    Ready for another idea that has stuck with me about coaching? As a kid in Houston, one of the first coaches I ever admired was legendary Stetson-wearing Houston Oilers football coach, Bum Phillips. Several years ago, I got to hear a former player talk about being willing to “run through a wall” for Bum. That’s a thought that I come back to over and over again. How can I be a leader and coach that inspires people to “run through a wall” with me? What could my teams accomplish if I’m able to do that?

    OK, one more thought for today. During a tough time when I was CEO of an investment firm, this 2-minute video from Olympian coach and player Kara Lawson inspired me. I shared it with the whole team during an all-hands meeting to communicate my struggle and hopefully propel our team forward. My favorite part, “It will never get easier. What happens is you handle hard better.” Still working on that. How about you?

    What are your thoughts on coaching? I’ve got more ideas and questions on the parallels and highs and lows of coaching, leading, parenting, and being a sports fan, but I’ll pause here for now. Let’s coach more in 2024!

    Revitalizing

    School’s out, and it’s the first day of summer at our house! We pick up our college freshman next week and are excited that she wants to come home. That got me thinking about how I can help our teenagers refresh and refuel. How do you revitalize? How often? Recently, my husband and I got to spend a weekend in Puerto Rico with my Vistage leadership group. That was a great way to revitalize! On Saturday morning in Puerto Rico, our speaker, Mitch Harrison from Refill Coaching encouraged us to find daily, weekly, monthly, quarterly, and annual ways to refuel. I also really liked the way that John Mackey and his co-authors talked about it in Conscious Leadership, “The ability to revitalize ourselves is one of the lowest-hanging, sweetest fruits that any of us can pick off the tree of life.”

    This advice to revitalize has been included in every leadership development and coaching activity that I have been a part of in the last ten years. So, why don’t we do it? What’s so hard about it?

    Not sure what works for you? I think that’s part of the roadblock. We have to experiment and get creative to find our personal formula. Want ideas? I’ve written previously about taking joy breaks, laughing, and feeling gratitude – those all work for me on a daily basis. Weekly, I find that regular exercise serves multiple purposes and helps me refuel and clear my mind. I also am lucky enough to get plenty of sleep. Once a month, my Vistage group and the Conscious Conversations that I’m leading for the Houston Chapter of Conscious Capitalism help me refuel. Annually, I make sure to take trips with family and friends to revitalize. A long walk, preferably near water, always brings me peace of mind, too. Meditation is one of the most highly recommended activities that I’ve tried and failed at, but I believe it works for many people, and I am staying open to the possibility that it may one day click for me.

    Revitalizing ourselves and our teams will be our June topic for Conscious Conversations. It would be great to hear your ideas. How do you regularly revitalize? What do you recommend? What are you doing this summer? Let’s refuel more in 2024!

    Laughing

    Did you see Jerry Seinfeld’s commencement speech for Duke’s class of 2024? It made me laugh out loud and was full of helpful advice. My short version: Seinfeld advises graduates to work hard, pay attention, and fall in love with little things. My favorite advice from Seinfeld’s speech is that we all need to have a sense of humor to make it through life. I sure wish my comedy skills were even a hundredth of Seinfeld’s, and I have heard that we can all be funnier than we think.

    Listening to Seinfeld’s speech reminded me that I read a book a couple of years ago, Humor Seriously, by Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bogdonas. They outline the case for using more humor and give tips on how to be funnier. They even did a TED talk and teach a class on humor at Stanford Graduate School of Business. I wish I could go back and take it. For the short version, you can also listen to Aaker and Bogdonas on this episode of one of my favorite podcasts, Think Fast Talk Smart.

    One tip that I’ve tried is to make daily observations and then turn those into something funny once per week. I’ve failed pretty miserably at this so far and won’t be starting a new career as a comedian anytime soon. The great news is that I can just laugh about it. Just this past weekend, I almost yelled at my one teenager who still lives at home about clearing his dishes, then I remembered it was a test and chose to just laugh instead and give myself a parenting win. That’s an area that I am wildly successful in – being generous with my laughter with myself and others. That helps too, according to the research. Try it. Do you have tips or stories about laughing or having a sense of humor about life and work? I’d love to hear them. Let’s laugh more in 2024!

    Profit and Purpose

    “The first and foremost job of every conscious leader…is to connect people to purpose.” This is my favorite quote from Conscious Leadership by John Mackey, Steve McIntosh, and Carter Phipps. I recently finished the book and highly recommend it.

    When people hear that my goal is to do my life’s work at the intersection of profit and purpose, I often get asked what I mean by purpose. For me, purpose in a for-profit business is the value that the business contributes to the world, and it can be accomplished in many ways. One easy way that I define and think about purpose is to look at each stakeholder of a business (e.g., customers, staff, owners, suppliers, communities) and ask, “How does this business improve lives for this group?”. Profit follows purpose.

    In Conscious Leadership, nine distinguishing characteristics of conscious leaders are organized into three categories: vision and virtue, mindset and strategy, and people and culture. To maximize my learning, I am using the book as a guide for a breakfast conversation series for the Houston Chapter of Conscious Capitalism this year. It is really fun and enlightening to discuss leadership dilemmas with other professionals and get energized for the day.

    In our first session in February, we talked about nurturing curiosity as a key trait in our teams. Several leaders shared challenges and tips on staying curious and still achieving agreed goals. What advice do you have on increasing curiosity while getting stuff done? In March, we discussed how to both challenge and support teammates. In my experience and what I heard from others in the session, the best forum is often regular 1-1 meetings with teammates focused on four C’s – care, celebrate, challenge, commit. I learned this memorable framework for 1-1 meetings from my friend, John Meyer, on this episode of the Lead More podcast, and it works. Our April Conscious Conversation was just this morning. We discussed how leaders connect people to purpose. The top tip and challenge that we discussed? Listen and meet people where they are. Easier said than done. I have not settled on topics for all the Conscious Conversations for 2024 yet. Do you have leadership ideas or dilemmas that we should explore? Please send them my way. Let’s connect profit and purpose more in 2024!

    Gratitude

    No one told me that writing the biggest checks of my life would make me feel so grateful. This week, I made the third quarter tuition payment for college for our first-born. With each payment, I feel grateful on many levels. Grateful that our daughter is getting the opportunity and has the desire to attend college and is doing well academically and socially. Grateful for the good fortune, hard work, and smart choices that led to our ability to afford to send her to the university of her choice. Grateful for more than I could have imagined.

    It is especially poignant for me because I attended college fully supported by multiple academic, leadership, and need-based scholarships. Making college tuition payments for our daughter reminds me how grateful I am for the forward-thinking and generous donors that made it possible for me to pursue my education. Thank you Terry Foundation, National Merit Scholarship Corporation, Ethyl Corporation, and many others. Perhaps another blog on that topic would be interesting?

    Another reason I am grateful? We got to visit our daughter this week and see one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever seen.

    Speaking of gratitude, I am a huge podcast fan and one of the best podcasts I have listened to this year is Oprah and Arthur Brooks discussing happiness and their book, Build the Life You Want. What are your favorite podcasts and where do you listen? I like to listen to podcasts on the Open Source app PocketCasts and preferably while on a long walk.

    About 50 minutes into this episode, they discuss gratitude as a key tool. What works for me is to pause whenever I remember and list what I am grateful for (e.g. just breathing, health, love of my parents). It is best to write this down, but I often do it in my head in the car, on a walk, or just about anytime I think about it. In my lowest moments, I use this trick to change my focus and it works. 

    I hope to keep finding gratitude in surprising places. What makes you grateful that others might find surprising? Let’s find more in 2024!